Have you flown on any of our domestic airlines in recent months? Do you ever plan to fly? If you answered “yes” to any of those 14 questions, keep reading.
CAVEAT EMPTOR (a Latin expression, meaning literally, “luggage in the overhead bin can kill you”): Flying is an adventure. OMGosh! Don’t take anything for granted. Returning home from your travels unscathed with all of your body integrity and luggage intact requires vigilance and preparation.
Recently, I jotted down a few observations of just the boarding procedures by several of the major airlines. It is my conclusion that they are far too complicated and confusing for most people to follow. The result: From the gate through the jet way to the aisle on the aircraft, there is passenger blockage everywhere.
The problem areas that need attention are described in my following top 10 list. This blog presents the 1st five; the next blog contains the remaining five. Remember, I am not suggesting solutions yet. Maybe you can relate to 1 or 2 of these problems.
TOP 10 OBSERVATIONS:
10. When the boarding announcement at the gate is made for your zone to board, the obsessive-compulsives are already standing near the agent ready to jump into line as everyone else rushes to line up, only to come to a screeching halt 3 feet later in the jet-way tunnel where everyone is backed up, standing in either frying or freezing temps until the aisle cloggers on the plane sit down.
9. Boarding pass seat numbers with 1 or 2 digits and a letter are waaay too difficult for many passengers to locate their seats, plus they can’t find the numbers above the seats. (Obviously, these passengers missed several “must-see” episodes of Sesame Street.) (NOTE: Even without a seat number and a letter, passengers on Southwest can’t make a decision on which seat to pick and, instead, just hold up aisle traffic until they can make up their minds.)
8. Passengers who can’t locate their seats or try to jam tons of “over-sized” luggage into the overhead bins clog the aisle like standing blobs of plaque, blocking everyone else from getting to their seats and delaying take-off.
7. Passengers carry-on waaay too much luggage and tooo many bags even when checked luggage is free on Southwest and the flight is nonstop.
6. Passengers who carry on 2- or 3-suiters and large duffel bags try to smash them into the already over-packed overhead bins. This violates a basic law of physics: “No 2 objects can occupy the same space at the same time.”
Have you experienced any of these passengers on your flights? We need to do something about them. Think about a few solutions while I write the next five observations in my list. I think you’ll like those even more. Stick around. Don’t abandon me yet.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
I know that many of you who were fans of 24 have a hole in your heart or a wound that’s infected now that it’s gone forever. Monday nights won’t be the same without a healthy dose of CTU and counterterrorist activities, 10 explosions, and a dozen maimings and killings, plus Tony Almeda coming back to life each year. You don’t find “leadership” role models for effectiveness, efficiency, and durability like Jack Bauer anywhere.(NOTE: After being whacked on 24 as our President David Palmer, Dennis Haysbert decided to get Allstate insurance before starring in The Unit. Smart move.)
As a tribute to Jack and all of you devoted fans and those of you who didn’t know him, but who read my blogs, I threw together a list of some facts you may not know about our hero gleaned from several Internet sources, plus my own twisted spin. I hope they bring back a few fond memories and a chuckle or 2.
ENJOY!
TOP 10 FACTS ABOUT JACK BAUER YOU DIDN’T KNOW!
10. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for assistance.
9. The film The Shawshank Redemption is loosely based on events from one of Jack’s summer vacations.
8. In kindergarten, when Jack's teacher said recess was over, he broke her fingers.
7. When Jack does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
6. When Jack sees a crime in progress, he doesn't call for backup; he just calls the coroner.
5. Jack irons his own clothes... while he's wearing them.
4. When Jack’s eyes get red and dry, he uses pepper spray to make them better.
3. When Jack meets a prospective date, he tells her: "You've read my file... you know what I am capable of."
2. Jack gives Tylenol a headache.
AND THE #1 FACT ABOUT JACK BAUER:
1. If you want to abolish the IRS, have them audit Jack.
HAVE A FANTASTIC FALL!
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
So what are you going to do? Have you decided? How are you opening your class? If you were one of the new bright-eyed and bushy-tailed students in your class, what would excite and impress you in class numero uno, other than your limited Spanish vocabulary? Here are a few ideas to break your 1st class mold wide open:
As you open the flood gates and the students start pouring into the room, greet each student at the door
Have music playing as they are searching for seats in the back of the room and settling down
If the air conditioning is on the fritz and the temp is 90 or above, pass out autographed head bands to absorb their buckets of secreted bodily fluids
Start class from the back of the room instead of standing at the lectern to grab their attention and watch their head-banded heads spin around like the kid in the Exorcist
Blackout the room for dramatic effect and begin with
- a pre-recorded welcome (on a black PowerPoint slide)
- special music the students would know
- a video clip with a relevant point
- an hilarious video clip from YouTube
- a parody of a popular movie or TV program scene or image (e.g., Avatar, Glee)
- an impersonation of a well-known personality
- a creative, relevant rap
Any one or more of the above openers will charge (or “jack”) your students more than a can of Red Bull or will knock them loopy. I’m not sure of the final effect. There must be something you can do with your unique gifts and talents that will create an amazing opening. It’s like teaching in a gorilla suit on Halloween.
What opener have you always wanted to try, but were afraid to do? If you can sing, play an instrument, or perform the finale from Riverdance, do it. Boggle your students. Set yourself apart from the rest of the pack. Be bold. Take a swig of Red Bull, if you need it. Kidding. You’ll need more than one swig. Think hard and release your inhibited self and repressed, but, probably, fertile, imagination.
These techniques can make your opening memorable and, possibly, unforgettable, plus they can set the tone for what’s coming next. You do have something planned for the rest of the class, right? You better hurry and think of an activity quickly or you’ll be nailed to the whiteboard.
Let me know what unusual opening you tried and your students’ reaction.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
Are you ready for your new classes? Do you even remember that you have classes to teach this fall? “No.” What is wrong with you? Oh, you’re tenured. That explains it. I knew it was either that or you’re a space cadet. I’m glad we got that cleared up.
You should be excited about opening day. Everyone is excited about something new happening this fall—football season, World Series games, new TV programs, a break in the heat, a change of underwear, different meds. Can you feel that sense of anticipation, the adrenaline beginning to pump harder, your blood pressure rising because you didn’t get the new prescription filled, and your sunburn pain starting to subside with buckets of aloe? Me too. I love the fall, especially because the Washington Redskins get a new coach and team every year. Ya never know what’s going to happen. You have to be an optimist.
The 1st class is one of the most important classes of the semester. It sets a tone and preview of what your classes and the course will be like. It’s a course trailer. Just like a movie trailer, it can serve as a teaser of what incredible topics and activities the students will experience if they stick around. Of course, if you’re not planning anything good, then you don’t need a trailer; you need serious help with your teaching. Go to your center for teaching excellence. NOWWW!!
This class can also be viewed like a movie premier or Broadway show opening. The students will exit thinking a smash hit course they will enjoy or a bomb they will be forced to endure. What are you thinking? Hit or bomb?
What are you doing differently this year to kick-off your course compared to yesteryear? “Nothing!” Oh, I forgot you just got tenure. Consider preparing your first class differently from any other. Your students don’t know (1) you, (2) your teaching methods, and (3) course content yet. You are in control. Leverage your position to your advantage to create a positive, uplifting, motivating, captivating, memorable, and hilarious first impression. Then you can resign or retire.
You know your students will be looking forward to a spectacular course. Are you thinking “spectacular,” “a little better,” “same ole’ grind,” or “you're lucky if I just show up”? Think blockbuster, unforgettable, smash hit course that will blow your students away. They’ll be texting their mommas about your course before they leave your class.
Tomorrow I’ll suggest a bunch of course openers that’ll hook your students during the first 5 minutes. It’s all in the preparation that will create an unforgettable experience.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
AND THE REST OF THE STORY…
Pick Your Partner Carefully. The partner can be a colleague, significant other, mentor, student, friend, mime, a literate pet, or all of the preceding. It’s even better if both of you are struggling writers. Hunt down a partner like Dog the Bounty Hunter. However, before you proceed with adoption, you also might want to run a thorough background check on your candidates to make sure they don’t have rap sheets as long as your dream book or are currently listed on the international terrorist watch-list. Be careful.
You need someone who is dependable and committed to helping you dig out of your writing hole and sustain a regiment of regular writing. It approximates a “writing boot camp” to train you to write on your own. Once you’re ready to graduate camp with the usual mortar board and robe, you will be more prepared to fight your writing battles.
Commitment. The writer-partner showdown is what Simon & Garfunkel sang about: “Hello, darkness, my old friend.” As noted in Tip 10, you must commit to write in writing (What else?) with specific, realistic goals in daily and weekly “to-do” lists to make this work. Record how much time and what you write.
Your partner can reward your successes with celebratory activities or evil gifts, such as a hot fudge sundae (unless you’re still on Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig). He or she may also extinguish failure with severe beatings or grace. Be very selective in who you pick as your partner.
Writing Clubs. You can also seek out writing clubs or groups at your institution or through your professional association. There are also many online writing groups through LinkedIn and other networks. These groups may serve in lieu of or in addition to your accountability partner.
Whatever form of accountability you choose will be only as effective as your commitment to write. How serious are you about writing more and better? Only you can answer that. We both know you can do it.
HAVE A SPECTACULAR WRITING CAREER! Let me know if you have discovered another technique to improve your writing.
BTW I am in the process of revising this entire blog series to transform it into a journal article. It will be formatted a little differently, but will be easier to read, plus it won't appear in all of these dopey colors. Those professionals who do not read my blogs might glance at the article. Ya never know. I look forward to hearing how you did the same with your blogs or writing morsels. My blogs turned out to be drafts for the article, which, of course, is also a draft right now. Have a wonderful weekend!
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
AND THE #1 SECRET TIP FROM THE HOME OFFICE IN KODIAK, AK, IS
1. FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER OR WRITING GROUP. If there was a single best strategy to increase writing productivity, this is the one I would recommend. If accountability works for weight loss and drug rehab, it must be effective in other applications. RIGHT?
Where’s the Research? Research by Boice (1989) found that writers who wrote daily (Tip 10), kept records of their writing time (Tip 10), and had an accountability partner produced 9 times more than those who were left to their own devices. There is also plenty of anecdotal evidence. Of course, some of us gain the weight back or backslide into our old habits or other meds, but that’s another story. The consequences of not writing can just get you fired.
Side Effects. Accountability can really boost your productivity, unless you’re a chronic liar, but then you will have more serious issues than writing. It’s an extrinsic motivator and, as such, can also elevate your guilt levels through the roof if you don’t meet your goals. Remember the weigh-in at Weight Watchers? “No.” That’s good.
Meeting Times. If you have difficulty hunkering down to write daily or anytime, one of the best “carrots” or “Snickers” candy bars to drive you to write is an accountability partner. You should report to your partner at the end of each week or another mutually-agreed upon regular time. REGULAR meetings is an essential ingredient of this arrangement. If meetings start dwindling, so will your writing. Don’t dwindle.
Tomorrow is finale day for this series with the rest of the “accountability” story, plus a surprise ending!
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
2. MINIMIZE DISTRACTIONS AND INTERRUPTIONS. Wherever you choose to write—and now you have a long list of options from Tip 9—turn off your cell phone and all electronic equipment before take-off…WAIT! You’re not on an airplane. Oops. Sorry. I meant turn off e-mail and order a “cease and desist” on people you know, pets licking your feet, kids grabbing at your clothes, Keith Lockhart (with guest artist Yo-Yo Ma) and the Boston Pops, and any other distractions, if possible. Writing can be challenging by itself. Ideal writing conditions are a luxury most writers can't afford most of the time. You can only control so much.
Don't Fluster. Don’t let interruptions derail your thoughts or fluster you. You look a little flustered right now. Unfluster. Make every effort to concentrate and stay focused on the task at hand. Be flexible and adapt to your writing surroundings. Don’t be tempted by the distractions. Block them out and stop flustering.
Conquer Public Distractions. The more you write in public venues, such as the ones on that long list, the better you become at concentrating on your writing. Right now I’m writing this blog in the Minneapolis airport with constant announcements blaring on the intercom, phones ringing or playing songs, blenders blending at the Starbucks near my make-shift office table, people talking loudly, and toddlers screaming. Under these airport conditions, you have few options and almost no control over the distractions.
Of course, if you are a member of 1st class elite airline club with a much quieter lounge, you’re all set to write during your flight layovers. Otherwise, do your best to deal with the distractions, focus on your writing, and stop wasting time reading my blog. You can do it!
My final blog in this excessively long-winded series will present Tip 1: find an accountability partner. It’s probably the most effective way to increase your writing productivity.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
3. PROOFREAD THOROUGHLY. Whatever you write, make sure to proof it thoroughly before hitting “send,” “post,” “save,” or “delete” by mistake. Do it a lot; the proofing, that is, not the hitting. Your professional reputation for quality work is on the line with every piece you produce. Nothing screams sloppy work, careless, and knucklehead more than writing errors in your communications and manuscripts.
Marinate the Manuscript. The best advice I’ve received from editors is to put each draft aside for a while—a few minutes, hours, or days. Try to systematically allow your manuscript time to breathe in whatever manuscripts breathe in your PC/Mac. You are so familiar with every word that you will not see every error, and neither will your PC or spelchek. Even with several reviews and a Sherlock Holmes-type magnifying glass, which I am using right now, I will still miss mistakes in grammar, spellinmg, or word choice.
Wait for the Mold. This blog has been marinating for several days already. You can probably tell from the green mold along the edges. Returning totally cold to the scene of your writing crime (with a magnifying glass) will usually allow those errors to jump off the screen; well, maybe not jump, but certainly hop a little. You will also reword and add material that did not occur to you previously. Both the manuscript and you can benefit from marinating for a few days. You may get moldy too, usually brown mold that can be treated with penicillin. However, your next moldy draft is always better.
Hire a Professional. Remember the ole’ TV series: “Have Proofreader, Will Travel”? Me neither. Read your masterpiece out loud AND ask a colleague, friend, or someone else with a pulse to read it. Your best proofer is one is who unfamiliar with the content and writing. You’re REEEAALLY familiar with both. That’s why you’re so bad. Bad, bad proofer!
For book manuscripts, you can even hire a professional proofer. My publishers have done that on several of my books. If you have money to burn, shop for a proofer. The more eyeballs that see your writing, the greater the chance that errors will be found before they’re published. That gives new meaning to the “interocular perusal technique.”
My next blog will address Tip 2 with brand new eyeballs: minimize distractions, if you can. Otherwise, suck it in, deal, and just write. Few writers have “ideal” writing conditions.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
4. THINK DRAFT. Consider everything you write as just a draft of your initial thinking and words. I even draft e-mail responses. When I save my e-mails in Inbox Drafts and then return later, I always catch errors and reword something to polish those drafts.
A draft can usually be improved with careful rewrites that might also incorporate the comments of colleagues, a mentor, and/or reviewers. Multiple drafts can be expected. In the journal review process, it’s not unusual to submit 1 or even up to 3 revisions before a manuscript is finally accepted for publication. The process is brutal, but the final product is far better than the initial submission.
Theta Brain Waves. Stay focused on your writing. Think about how it can be worded more concisely and clearly and/or funnier. Sit back, close your eyes, relax, and try to visualize the writing on the wall…Oops! I mean your writing on your screen. When you’re relaxed in almost shallow sleep mode, your Theta brain waves activate free-flowing creativity and different words. Hurry and write down those words while you’re flowing.
Bedtime Thoughts. Have you ever gone to bed and, as your mind relaxes, all of a sudden a burglar you saw on a Law & Order rerun breaks in and steals your PC? “No?” Oh, sorry. What about: ideas that start popping into your mind about your writing that you must right down before you forget them, but you can’t find your glasses to find the Post-its and a pen and your alarm is still blaring from the break-in. (Grammatical Note: English professors call the structure of the previous elongated sentence a "subcutaneous conjunctive carbuncle.") Jot down your carbuncles quickly. If you don’t, you probably won’t remember them in the morning and you’ll have to go back to sleep to recall them. Hummm. Not a bad idea.
My next blog will tackle Tip 3: proofreading your writing. Although, as the author, you are the worst proofreader you could hire, you have to do it.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TAKING WRITING BLOG MEDICINE. YUCK!: This blog comes to you from Kodiak, AK, home of MONSTER brown bears, buckets of salmon, the Boston Red Sox, and the world-famous University of Arkansas Fighting Irish. It’s about 9,367 miles, give or take a foot, directly northeast of St. John’s Wort.
I am taking some of my own writing blog medicine. I feel like one of the kids in Mary Poppins. SUPERCALAFRAG… “Don’t even think about typing that full word!” With a total flight time of 15 hours, of which 9 hours was in flight on 3 different planes with a layover of 4.5 hours in Anchorage, I had a choice to make:
A. get a fishing rod and go catch salmon
B. write my guts out on the flight and in the airport
C. waste the writing opportunity to watch a made-for-flight movie, which was never released or bombed at the box office
D. engage in other boring, unproductive activities, like dreaming of catching a salmon in my mouth. Wait! That’s what the bears do.
E. A & B
F. C & D
G. all of the above
Guess which one I picked. WROOONG! I choose the lox. Of course "B": I had to write or I would have been “Hypocrite Blogger of the Week!” What a knucklehead! Why did I have to include airports and airplanes on my list of venues to write. (NOTE: The aircraft of choice for the flight from Anchorage to Kodiak was only slightly bigger than a #2 pencil.)
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
Unlike my previous blog which gave you a belly full of pointers related to your heart and spleen, this one does not deal with any internal organs. It is a noninvasive blog that focuses on external organs. Hold onto to your spleen, heeeere we go.
5. ADOPT A MENTOR OR COACH TO REVIEW DRAFTS
Who do you know that’s “been there, done that”? Solicit feedback on your writing from anyone who can and is willing to provide constructive criticism. You don’t need put-downs and sarcasm. Your writing mentor can be anywhere in the world. He or she can be an incredible support and sounding board to improve your writing conceptually and mechanically. A copy editor would be even better if you can find one who can review your work regularly. These reviewers can provide valuable input on any writing piece before you submit it for publication or post anything on the Internet.
(Up Close & Personal: After 35 years of writing, I still send my article and book manuscripts out for review to colleagues before submitting them for publication. I also request reviews on several blogs before they’re posted. My writing is not good enough for me to go it alone. I still make mistakes and, probably, always will. Constant feedback from colleagues and editors is the best input to continue to grow as a writer. That growing is a lifelong process.)
My next blog will examine Tip 4: think draft. Not beer, silly. I’m referring to your manuscript and even e-mail.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
6. WRITE ON TOPICS ABOUT WHICH YOU ARE PASSIONATE (continued)
Back in Your Heartland: Where’s your heart? This is not about your content knowledge. We’re back to the heart again. Your whole heart should be engaged in your writing. Half-, third-, or quarter-hearted writing is not enough. It’s either all or nothing. Pour yourself into your writing. It should be a fully immersive experience. Allow your readers to feel your spirit of passion about your contribution, whether it’s a tweet, comment on a discussion, response on Facebook, or a scientific breakthrough for a cure for stupid reality TV programs about spoiled, immature celebrities. You may start with the content, but as you revise and edit each draft, make it sneakily engrossing and captivating for your readers.
(Up Close & Personal: Every e-mail, LinkedIn message, PowerPoint presentation, blog, article, and book I write begins with the substance—the serious content. That’s the most important element to be communicated---the “WHAT.” Then I shift gears into the “HOW.”
Once I’m tentatively satisfied with the content draft, I scan line by line and read the words as a reader would, to search for places to add humor or spin some of the material with rewording to make it fun or more interesting. I assume every paragraph to be boring for my readers. I use this same strategy with every PowerPoint slide in my presentations.
The challenge is to create appropriate humor, visual metaphors, and popular cultural references to grab and maintain the readers’ attention. It’s an unending process of revision, especially in my articles, books, and PowerPoints. The more deadly serious and boring the content, the more turbo-charged I am to humorize that material. That’s how I brand my writing. It’s the art of writing for me and what I love the most. I’m never satisfied that I’ve done enough to make it interesting and funny.)
My next blog will present Tip 5: examine how a mentor or coach in your writing life can provide mighty wise counsel and poke you in the eyeballs (like the 3 Stooges) or kick you in the shins along your writing journey.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
6. WRITE ON TOPICS ABOUT WHICH YOU ARE PASSIONATE. Your excitement about the content should burst through your writing. If you’re bored about your topic, you will kill your readers and prompt them to click “delete.” They don’t deserve linguistic purgatory—writing with the excitement of a wad of used paper towels. That can induce a coma. Light a fire under your writing to create at least a spark of interest by your readers, and torch the paper towels while you’re at it. If necessary, find a way to produce a percolating caldron of controversy or some other metaphor to stimulate your readers’ minds.
Writing Gifts: Leverage your knowledge and expertise with your writing gifts to put your unique spin on every topic. Express your passion for your serious subject in your writing.
What writers have inspired you? What words stop you in your tracks? Here are two examples you’ll know.
Two Writers:
David E. Kelley: Award winning TV screenwriter David E. Kelley (L.A. Law, Picket Fences, Chicago Hope, Ally McBeal, Boston Legal) revealed his signature style in his characters’ words and behaviors, even dancing, such as the “dancing baby” and John Cage on Ally McBeal. Kelley fused his quirky, off-beat humor with the surreal and the serious. He’s also known for seeding his plots with political and social “hot-button” issues, especially on Boston Legal. Kelley said,
“Often we try to seduce the audience at the beginning that this is going to be fun, a romp or a ride, and then once the ride has begun, to reveal some serious subject matter for them to think about.”
Aaron Sorkin: Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men, The American President, The West Wing, Sports Night) has a different style. His teleplays for the Emmy-Award winning The West Wing had his trademark rapid-fire dialogue (which I love) and extended monologues which were complemented by director Thomas Schlamme’s visual “walk and talk.” His style-mark was also the repartee between his characters as they small talk and banter about various whimsical events. What fun to hear and watch! Sorkin said,
“I enter the world through what I write. I grew up believing …that I am a screw-up…and had nothing to offer in any conversation. But when I started writing, suddenly there was something that I brought to the party that was at a high-enough level.”
Find a Fave Writer: Now you know a couple of my fave writers and why I do what I do in my writing. Both Kelley and Sorkin infuse serious material with humor. I bet you have your own faves. If not, find an author in print or visual media who can inspire you the way these guys have inspired me.
Tomorrow, I will continue to describe “passion” and putting your “heart” into your writing like William Forrester (see 1st blog if you missed it), no matter what you’re writing about, including a preposition at the end of a sentence.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
AFTERTHOUGHT: After I reread my previous blog about all of the blogs I wrote this past year, one thought raced through my mind: “What an idiot!” I could have written a 200–250-page book for the price of all of those blogs. Knucklehead me. Bad me. Of course I'm kidding because I’m still in a celebratory mood.
While I’m in the mood on this blessed occasion, chuckle-wise, I offer the following Top 10 from actual police car video files from around the country (source unknown). ENJOY!
TOP 10 COMMENTS BY POLICE OFFICERS TO PERPS
10. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
9. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
8. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
7. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them for a while."
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
5. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
4. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
3. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
2. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC (National Crime Information Center).”
AND THE NO. 1 COMMENT TO PERPS:
1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
Thanks for reading. I’ll resume the WRITING series tomorrow with Tip 6: Write on topics about which you feel passionate. Write with fire, not a blanket to conk out your readers and then tuck them in.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
BLOGGUS INTERRUPTUS: My series on “writing” is on hiatus for 2 days so that I may use this blog to reflect on this past year’s 180 blogs and begin my new blog year with humor. “Writing” will resume soon. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
BLOG REFLECTIONS
My Experience. Are you kidding me? Who would ever thought I would be measuring time in blogs. Since my 2 incredible daughters (Corinne & Marissa) persuaded me to start blogging exactly 1 year ago, I’ve learned a lot. Blogging has been an amazing experience. It has motivated, inspired, cajoled, and, sometimes, even pinned me up against the wall in a half-Nelson to write. Thinking in 200–400-word chunks is different from 2000–5000-word articles and 50,000–100,000-word books. A blog seems manageable and attainable.
The Alternatives. The article and book alternatives are considerably more formidable and, at times, seem to be more within the realm of Don Quixote’s “Impossible Dream.” That’s why they mean so much on our vitae. It’s kind of difficult to harpoon a windmill on a horse; in fact, it’s nearly impossible to even find a windmill nearby these days. Where do they hide them? Maybe Sancho will know.
If I were still at Johns Hopkins or, for that matter, any other research university, the unrefereed, “unpublished” blog would be regarded as a meaningless waste of time (as opposed to a meaningful waste of time) in the context of annual productivity and faculty evaluations for annual review and promotion and tenure. Why bother? There’s no academic pay-off. If you want to blog, you do so for other reasons, and, in addition to everything else. Not so in the corporate or other worlds beyond academia.
My Niche. As I embarked on my journey into “Blog World,” I knew that few of my colleagues in the academic community read blogs and almost none writes them or comments on them, perhaps, for the reasons above. Over the past year, that was confirmed week after week, with the exception of a few spikes of interest in particular blogs or blog series. With a constantly increasing bombardment of job and family responsibilities pounding on academicians, it seems that the priority, time, and interest for my blogs, at least, remain relatively low. To attract a following in the thousands is unrealistic. That may not be the case for other writers’ blogs.
Fortunately, my niche has expanded slightly beyond the ivory tower to include writers, K–12 teachers, healthcare, corporate, IT, software, training, and coaching professionals from a bunch of countries, and students. You never know who may find value in what you write until you test the World Wide Focus Group (WWFG)! I did not expect that expansion and will intentionally consider that audience in future blogs.
What’s Next? A vacation. Haha. As year 2 begins, after this “writing” series is over, I will continue to search for topics that can
(1) provide you with important information at a glance, such as the Web 1.0–3.0 series,
(2) offer guidance that might take what you’re doing professionally or personally to the next level, such as writing and publishing, and
(3) make you chuckle and, maybe even, laugh out loud with my twisted brand of humor.
However, I really, really could use your help. REALLY! I would appreciate suggestions for topics and jokes and feedback on what’s working or not working in my blogs. I want each blog to be meaningful and valuable to you in ways that other resources are not. Let me know your thoughts. (NOTE: Of course, I will still continue to write articles, some of which may grow out my blog series, and try to finish my 14th book.)
In that spirit, tomorrow I will begin this next blog year with a totally meaningless and valueless Top 10 list. See you then.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
