I know many of you have “pick Halloween costume” on your to-do list somewhere in the next 2 weeks. Since this blog is a service-provider to faculty, I thought you might like to know what costumes are flying off the shelves into professors little coffee/tea-stained hands. Then you can decide whether to
1. Pick the “hot” costume
2. Pick something totally different
3. Do business-as-usual with NO costume
Here are the Top 10 picks from the home office in Milledgeville, GA, at "Costumes for Profs" national chain, usually next door to Walmart, except where noted:
TOP 10
10. KNIGHT (Full suit of armor with chainmail and sword, available in 42–48 regular only at Men’s Warehouse)
9. GORILLA (Nothing says “high student ratings” like the “Teaching Gorilla”)
8. GEICO GECKO (Find out what it’s like being green, unless you’re dressing up as Kermit the Frog)
7. CAPITAL ONE “VIKING” (Your chance to be acceptably uncouth and crude)
6. LADY GAGA (Don't hurt yourself with the costume; it would help if you could sing "Telephone")
5. DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER (You might need a wig and a truck)
4. BABY “BOOMER” (With diaper, bib, rattle, pacifier)
3. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (Add a chandelier for effect)
2. CORDUROY SUIT & BOWTIE (WAIT! That's regular apparel)
2. SHERLOCK HOLMES (As much as I like Robert Downey, Jr., I still prefer Basil Rathbone with Inverness cape, deer stalker, and calabash pipe)
AND THE NUMBER 1 COSTUME:
1. PUMPKIN (With leather headband and music to perform “Gourd of the Dance”)
Tell me what costume you picked. I bet it will be creative. Your students will go nuts.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
TOP 10 SECRET TIPS:
3. PROOFREAD THOROUGHLY. Whatever you write, make sure to proof it thoroughly before hitting “send,” “post,” “save,” or “delete” by mistake. Do it a lot; the proofing, that is, not the hitting. Your professional reputation for quality work is on the line with every piece you produce. Nothing screams sloppy work, careless, and knucklehead more than writing errors in your communications and manuscripts.
Marinate the Manuscript. The best advice I’ve received from editors is to put each draft aside for a while—a few minutes, hours, or days. Try to systematically allow your manuscript time to breathe in whatever manuscripts breathe in your PC/Mac. You are so familiar with every word that you will not see every error, and neither will your PC or spelchek. Even with several reviews and a Sherlock Holmes-type magnifying glass, which I am using right now, I will still miss mistakes in grammar, spellinmg, or word choice.
Wait for the Mold. This blog has been marinating for several days already. You can probably tell from the green mold along the edges. Returning totally cold to the scene of your writing crime (with a magnifying glass) will usually allow those errors to jump off the screen; well, maybe not jump, but certainly hop a little. You will also reword and add material that did not occur to you previously. Both the manuscript and you can benefit from marinating for a few days. You may get moldy too, usually brown mold that can be treated with penicillin. However, your next moldy draft is always better.
Hire a Professional. Remember the ole’ TV series: “Have Proofreader, Will Travel”? Me neither. Read your masterpiece out loud AND ask a colleague, friend, or someone else with a pulse to read it. Your best proofer is one is who unfamiliar with the content and writing. You’re REEEAALLY familiar with both. That’s why you’re so bad. Bad, bad proofer!
For book manuscripts, you can even hire a professional proofer. My publishers have done that on several of my books. If you have money to burn, shop for a proofer. The more eyeballs that see your writing, the greater the chance that errors will be found before they’re published. That gives new meaning to the “interocular perusal technique.”
My next blog will address Tip 2 with brand new eyeballs: minimize distractions, if you can. Otherwise, suck it in, deal, and just write. Few writers have “ideal” writing conditions.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
