PREPARING FOR THE ACADEMIC OLYMPICS: "Go for the Bronze!" (A Parody, Part II)

ICE HOCKEY
This blog continues our journey through Olympic-land. In addition to the events listed previously, one of the most popular is ice hockey. It has generated a fierce following ever since the famous U.S victory over the former Soviet Union in 1980 in Lake Placid, home to 30-foot-long, man-eating crocodiles. In fact, it (the hockey game, not the crocs) led to the movie featuring the story of the U.S. coach Herb Brooks--Miracle on 34th Street. (Olympic Sidebar:You may not know this, but although many countries have their own ice hockey team, in recent decades their athletes actually train in Frostbite Falls, MN, home of Rocky and Bullwinkle. I was as shocked to hear this as you are right now. Try to deal. End of R & B Sidebar.)

THE MEDAL ROUND
I am always on the edge of my La-Z-Guy lounge chair seat for the timed events, such as speed skating, ski races, luge, bobsleigh, and curling with crocs. I am still amazed at the differences among the 3 medalists in these events. Those differences are usually fractions of a second, rounded to 6 decimal points, which occasionally are so close that they can only be decided for the men’s events by a paternity test.

PROFESSIONAL MOTTO
My Olympic mindset prompted me years ago to adopt the professional motto: “GO FOR THE BRONZE!” It’s self-deprecating, but mildly amusing. It takes the pressure off of always striving to be the best. What’s so bad about mediocrity? Should I bite my keyboard? Of course, in practice, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

WHAT’S YOUR STANDARD?
So what medal do you have in your cross-hairs as you tackle a professional task, such as preparing for class, a publication, a conference presentation, a grant proposal, chairing a committee, or your administrative step toward world domination? Where do you draw the line to set your standard of performance? Consider that line in everything you do. Your reputation and integrity are also on that line.

ARE YOU IN CONDITION?
Stay in shape. Ya never know—when someone is disqualified in any Olympic event, you may get the call. Keep your mobile phone charged. See my conditioning for the men’s downhill in the link below:
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/DozP2W50O6NxV9VP

COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC

PREPARING FOR THE ACADEMIC OLYMPICS: Go for the Bronze! (A Parody, Part I)

We’re less than 2 weeks away. I’m sooo excited. I’m finally going to replace the 2 rear tires on my SUV. WAIT! That’s not that exciting. It’s the Super Bowl! “WROOONNG AGAIN!"

It’s the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver! Where have you been? In a Peruvian rainforest? And this February 12th, guess what? The organizers don’t have to ship in dump-truck-loads of snow for the skiing events from a neighboring country like Seattle.

OLYMPIC SCHEDULE
I love the Winter Olympics—“the thrill of victory, the agony of frigid temps!” Hand warmers galore! It starts with the stimulus package-like, AIG CEO bonus-type, wastefully-expensive, opening ceremonies that last for 3 days, except in Siberia, where, due to the time-zone difference and the excessive use of commas in this sentence, it lasts 3 months. The colorful parade of athletes and Olympic flame-lighting are followed by the closing ceremonies with a few events and buckets of commercials in between.

Unfortunately, this spectacle only rolls around every 16 years, except when it falls on the Jewish New Year or Kwanza. In those cases, it’s rescheduled during spring break in an extremely cold country like Antarctica.

OLYMPIC HIGHLIGHTS
My fave dozen events this year are the following:

• 8m snowball fight
• 2-man windshield scrape
• 15.75m snow shovel toss
• 6-man bobsleigh with only guys named bob
• ladies 500m taser speed skating
• 10km jet-propelled ski jump
• individual men’s Olympic village cafeteria-tray luge
• Whistler Blackcomb Mountain alpine snow-eating contest
• women’s round robin boulder curling
• men’s pairs Super E-F-G downhill skiing
• psycho-aerial men’s drainpipe snowboarding
• 4 x 7.5 x MC square km women’s biathlon with 81mm mortars

It is so exciting to watch event after event, while trying to pronounce the names of the athletes. Eventually, the star athletes become deeply etched in our memory along with the theme song “Ode to Frosty the Snowman.”

Tomorrow I’ll continue this rollicking romp through the 2010 Olympic events and, maybe, just maybe, get to the point of the blog title.

COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC