We’re less than 2 weeks away. I’m sooo excited. I’m finally going to replace the 2 rear tires on my SUV. WAIT! That’s not that exciting. It’s the Super Bowl! “WROOONNG AGAIN!"
It’s the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver! Where have you been? In a Peruvian rainforest? And this February 12th, guess what? The organizers don’t have to ship in dump-truck-loads of snow for the skiing events from a neighboring country like Seattle.
OLYMPIC SCHEDULE
I love the Winter Olympics—“the thrill of victory, the agony of frigid temps!” Hand warmers galore! It starts with the stimulus package-like, AIG CEO bonus-type, wastefully-expensive, opening ceremonies that last for 3 days, except in Siberia, where, due to the time-zone difference and the excessive use of commas in this sentence, it lasts 3 months. The colorful parade of athletes and Olympic flame-lighting are followed by the closing ceremonies with a few events and buckets of commercials in between.
Unfortunately, this spectacle only rolls around every 16 years, except when it falls on the Jewish New Year or Kwanza. In those cases, it’s rescheduled during spring break in an extremely cold country like Antarctica.
OLYMPIC HIGHLIGHTS
My fave dozen events this year are the following:
• 8m snowball fight
• 2-man windshield scrape
• 15.75m snow shovel toss
• 6-man bobsleigh with only guys named bob
• ladies 500m taser speed skating
• 10km jet-propelled ski jump
• individual men’s Olympic village cafeteria-tray luge
• Whistler Blackcomb Mountain alpine snow-eating contest
• women’s round robin boulder curling
• men’s pairs Super E-F-G downhill skiing
• psycho-aerial men’s drainpipe snowboarding
• 4 x 7.5 x MC square km women’s biathlon with 81mm mortars
It is so exciting to watch event after event, while trying to pronounce the names of the athletes. Eventually, the star athletes become deeply etched in our memory along with the theme song “Ode to Frosty the Snowman.”
Tomorrow I’ll continue this rollicking romp through the 2010 Olympic events and, maybe, just maybe, get to the point of the blog title.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
You're hilarious. I especially agree about the Opening Ceremonies-long and insanely expensive but amusing to watch nonetheless-can't wait!!
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