TOP TEN IDIOT DRIVERS TO EMERGE FROM THE MID-ATLANTIC BLIZZARD OF 2010! The Warm-Up

THE PUMMEL STORM
In case you haven’t heard because you’re living in Madagascar, over the past week the Washington-MD-VA region was pummeled with 2 major storms and a baby storm with snow totals of nearly 5 feet. We usually may get 5 inches max all winter. For hundreds of years, northern-type people from foreign countries, such as Minneapolis, Buffalo, Syracuse, Fargo, and Phoenix, laugh at us because some of us behave like idiots when any flakes hit the pavement. (Sidebar: Many federal employees in high-rise buildings request their offices be located on top floors so they can spot the first flakes to fall and make a mad dash to the parking lot before the flakes reach the ground. That “snow-flake dash” will be included in the next winter Olympics in Russia.)

IDIOT DRIVERS EMERGE
We have become a laughing stock and our high-density infestation of politicians doesn’t help much. Fully aware of the legions of idiots that emerge during any storm, much less a record-breaker, government officials usually cancel everything to be safe just based on the forecast. In the past, on occasion, no flakes ever fell, to the embarrassment of meteorologists and the decision makers who canceled schools, social meetings, and drug deals. This past week the flakes really fell and the double-wallop storms couldn’t restrain the idiot drivers from exceeding all of our expectations.

SNOW DRIVING
Admittedly, idiots cannot grasp the intricacies of advanced snow driving with just 1 monster storm or a few sissy-size storms under their sweats; it takes a lifetime of bad driving to acquire the proper skills. To give you a flavor of how stupid the drivers in our region can be, I’ve picked 10 examples.

PICKING THE TOP TEN
My choices are from various sightings as a trained observer with especially acute inter-ocular skills to spot idiot behaviors, plus a recent article in the Washington Post by Monica Hesse. I have embellished the truthful descriptions a bit, as you would expect me to do. Maybe this list will enable you to laugh along with the rest of us. Hopefully, even you tropical-type folk with a remedial knowledge of REAL snow, but can identify Hollywood fake flakes, will exhibit a chuckle or 2.

TOMORROW'S BLOG
Since I’ve reached my blog word limit, you’ll see the TOP TEN in tomorrow’s blog. (Actually, I’m still working on the embellishments.) Stay with me. I think you’ll get a kick or 2. (Writer’s Note: English-wise, you should never end 1 paragraph, much less 2, with the number 2, unless you’re a professional blogger. Don’t try this at home either or wherever you go 2.)

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