A “legitimate” request was recently posted on the POD Listserv for faculty developers by Mackenzi Huyser, Dean for Faculty Development and Academic Programs, at Trinity Christian College. She asked for an appropriate, snazzy name for “Fall Faculty Orientation,” which will attract faculty. She received several excellent suggestions by Lynn Sorenson and others.
Unfortunately, that request triggered my twisted mind to think of some evil names that should NEVER be considered by an institution of higher education or any institution for that matter. As always, I am ashamed of myself for creating these names and, in no way, should this list be misconstrued to disrespect Dr. Huyser, her request, her institution, her colleagues, her relatives, her heirs, or Christianity.
Please enjoy this baker’s dozen list in the spirit in which it is intended.
(NOTE: This is for your entertainment only; any other use, without the expressed written and notarized permission of the blog author, is strictly prohibited by his mother, his heirs, yada, yada.)
TOP 13
13. Boot Camp for Newbies
12. Fall Face-Lift for Faculty
11. Faculty Survivor: Trinity-Style
10. The Apprentice Teacher at Trinity
9. Basic Training for Faculty
8. Fall Faculty Indoctrination
7. Mirandizing Faculty on Trinity Christian College
6.Your Worst Faculty Nightmare Has Come True
5. What’s NOT in Your Contract
4. The Temptations of Faculty
3. Sins that Will Get You Whacked
2. Guess What? This Is Not Glee!
AND THE NUMBER 1 REJECTED NAME FOR ‘FALL ORIENTATION’:
1. EXTREME Fall Faculty Makeover
I really hope Mackenzi gets a great title for her faculty event. Again, please accept my apology for the above list. I couldn’t resist. Now I can take my meds.
COPYRIGHT © 2011 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
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