WEED WHACKER DISCLAIMER:
When I weed (the verb) my yard, I try the following strategies: yank the weeds out by their roots; cut them with a machete, whacker, clippers, or saw; mow over them; stomp on them; spray systemic poison on them; strangle them with my work-glove hands to not leave any fingerprints; smother them with mulch, boulders, and tar paper; shoot them with my 50-year-old B-B gun; and pummel them with a Louisville slugger baseball bat (Well, maybe, not exactly; it was a Hank Aaron aluminum bat!).
Then, guess what? Yup, you’re right: I was promptly arrested and thrown into the Slammer, the BIG House. WROOONNG! Of course not. What were you thinking? What happened is that, after the next rain, those weeds and their demonic little offspring came back with a vengeance like the botanical version of zombies from Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. (SIDEBAR: I’m having so much fun with this metaphor!)
Anyway, I want to be like Jack Nicholson-A Few Good Men “crystal clear” that I am not condoning any of the preceding actions in your department. Well, maybe the baseball bat would be okay. Naaah!
No matter how bad the weeds are or what they do to you everyday of your work-life to cause you misery and pain and impede your productivity, homicide is not the answer. Yes, I know Adrian Monk and Jack Bauer are no longer available, but Horatio Caine (CSI: MIAMI) is still kickin’ and can be found on Sun. nights this fall. Murder is just not worth the consequences, because those weeds will probably come back like real zombies and invade your classes. Who needs that?
My next blog will suggest specific techniques for killing the weeds in your department. Now you can go load your weapons. See ya soon.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
WHAT’S YOUR PRODUCTIVITY LEVEL?
Are you satisfied with your current level of productivity? Are you on a roll to attaining all of your professional goals? OR, are there things that are holding you back—negative attitudes, toxic relationships, departmental requirements, lack of IT support, too many meetings, relentless time eaters—that are stifling your growth?
I’m sure you have both the capacity and potential to produce in your current position. You wouldn’t be in that position if that weren’t true. The problem is that there may be weeds in your professional garden that can hinder, strangle, and totally destroy your productivity, fruitfulness, and any success you hope to enjoy. They can arrest your growth and development as a teacher, researcher, clinician or whatever you do. Furthermore, these metaphors can be annoying.
ARE THERE WEEDS IN YOUR PROFESSIONAL LIFE?
The goal of a weed is to move into your grass and plants, destroy them, and take over your lawn and garden—WORLD GARDEN DOMINATION. Real weeds in a garden are like a cancer in your body that metastasizes to destroy your mind and body. (“WAIT! That’s too many metaphors in one paragraph. I can’t handle that.” Okay, back to weeds.)
Weeds thrive in spring and summer around my house and grow extremely well, regardless of the weather conditions. However, in your professional world, they grow 24/7, 365 days. They are a significant threat to your effective performance and career. They want CAREER DOMINATION to prevent you from functioning effectively and producing to your potential.
My future blogs in this series will help you identify your weeds and then suggest techniques to destroy them. You might start cleaning your weapons so you’re ready to blow them to smithereens.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
