I know many of you have “pick Halloween costume” on your to-do list somewhere in the next 2 weeks. Since this blog is a service-provider to faculty, I thought you might like to know what costumes are flying off the shelves into professors little coffee/tea-stained hands. Then you can decide whether to
1. Pick the “hot” costume
2. Pick something totally different
3. Do business-as-usual with NO costume
Here are the Top 10 picks from the home office in Milledgeville, GA, at "Costumes for Profs" national chain, usually next door to Walmart, except where noted:
TOP 10
10. KNIGHT (Full suit of armor with chainmail and sword, available in 42–48 regular only at Men’s Warehouse)
9. GORILLA (Nothing says “high student ratings” like the “Teaching Gorilla”)
8. GEICO GECKO (Find out what it’s like being green, unless you’re dressing up as Kermit the Frog)
7. CAPITAL ONE “VIKING” (Your chance to be acceptably uncouth and crude)
6. LADY GAGA (Don't hurt yourself with the costume; it would help if you could sing "Telephone")
5. DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER (You might need a wig and a truck)
4. BABY “BOOMER” (With diaper, bib, rattle, pacifier)
3. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (Add a chandelier for effect)
2. CORDUROY SUIT & BOWTIE (WAIT! That's regular apparel)
2. SHERLOCK HOLMES (As much as I like Robert Downey, Jr., I still prefer Basil Rathbone with Inverness cape, deer stalker, and calabash pipe)
AND THE NUMBER 1 COSTUME:
1. PUMPKIN (With leather headband and music to perform “Gourd of the Dance”)
Tell me what costume you picked. I bet it will be creative. Your students will go nuts.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
WARNING: Yo, 3D-IMAX fans!! If you were expecting a deep body massage, aromatherapy candles, or Betty White cracking wise in this blog, fawgetabbouttit. None of these will happen in this blog series on weeds. I’m withholding those treats for special-occasion blogs, such as those on Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Passover. Stay tuned.
The strategies for heart weeds will be covered below:
2. HEART: (NOTE: This paragraph is not for the faint of "you know what." Buck up.) Soften your heart. Rid yourself of those nasty weeds that have grown in your heart over time. Let go of those weeds. Change your attitudes, words, and actions to foster positive relationships in your work environment. Repair any damaged relationships with colleagues and students. Demonstrate care and compassion for the people with whom you interact. Reach out to them.
Direct some of your energy toward growth in your teaching and research. You should be learning nonstop. Attend faculty development events and conferences, especially if I come to your campus. Haha. They’re for your benefit.
That growth will revitalize you and pump adrenaline into everything you do. It’s like gulping down one of those turbo-charged, high-energy sports drinks. That'll get your heart a thumping! Those drinks will definitely kill weeds and even small critters. (NOTE: It is not the official policy of this blog to endorse any product or controlled substance. I’m just really into figurative language.)
My next blog will tackle one the most difficult categories of weeds: poison ivy. WROOONG! It’s: Relationships! To prepare, I’m going to practice on my lawn right now. See ya tomorrow.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
