Saturday, October 29, 2011

"TOP 10 HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR PROFS IN 2011"

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How many of you have “pick up Halloween costume” on your to-do list this weekend? My guess is, rounded to 6 decimal points, 0! Since this blog is a service-provider to faculty, trainers, administrators, and assorted farm animals, I thought you might like to know what costumes are flying off the shelves at Wal-Mart into professors little coffee/tea-stained hands. I’m sure you already know that politicians and dead terrorists and dictators are out this year.

Can decide whether to

1. Pick the “hot” costume
2. Pick something totally different
3. Do business-as-usual with NO costume on Mon.

Here are the Top 10 picks from the home office in Kodiak, AK, at "Costumes for Profs" national chain, usually next door to Wal-Mart, except where noted:

(WARNING: Despite the highly testosteronal implications of many of these costumes, women may wear them as well.)

TOP 10

10. KNIGHT (Full suit of armor with chainmail and sword, available in 42–50 regular only at Men’s Warehouse)

9. GORILLA (Nothing says “high student ratings” like the “Teaching Gorilla”)

8. GEICO GECKO or GORDON GECKO (Find out what it’s like being green, unless you’re dressing up as Kermit the Frog)

7. CAPITAL ONE “VIKING” (Your chance to be acceptably uncouth and crude or Jerry Stiller)

6. LADY GAGA (Don't hurt yourself with the costume or eat it; not recommended for vegetarians)

5. WOLFMAN/WOMAN (You might need a lot of hair and extra teeth; you could be mistaken for no. 7)

4. BABY “BOOMER” (With diaper, bib, rattle, pacifier; you could be mistaken for no. 9)

3. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (Add a chandelier and pic of Chaz Bono for effect)

2. CORDUROY SUIT & BOWTIE (WAIT! That's regular apparel)

2. SHERLOCK HOLMES (As much as I like Robert Downey, Jr., I still prefer the impeccably dignified Basil Rathbone with Inverness cape, deer stalker, and calabash pipe)

AND THE NUMBER 1 COSTUME:

1. PUMPKIN (Always reliable with leather headband and music to perform “Gourd of the Dance”)

Tell me what costume you picked. I bet it will be creative. Your students will go wild.

COPYRIGHT © 2011 Ronald A. Berk, LLC 

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