While the substantive foundation of the mentor-mentee relationship is the experience, knowledge, skills, and/or wisdom of the mentor, it’s the unique personal connection or chemistry between mentor and mentee that is critical to the success and longevity of the relationship, regardless of the communication form. That element is essential for most all in-depth, meaningful relationships; it’s not essential for superficial, fly-by-night, or popular, short-term, illicit celebrity relationships.
What Happens When the Chemistry Is Missing?
If the mentee is (a) intimidated, frightened, or uncomfortable in any way in the relationship, (b) gulps down an anti-nausea medication before each meeting, or (c) simply ends up with a mentor resembling Freddy Krueger or Dog the Bounty Hunter, the relationship is DOOMED! In other words, it’s dead in the water or some other fluid, regardless of the substantive expertise the mentor could provide. The emotional intelligence, especially interpersonal skills, of both mentor and mentee is a crucial determinant of the chemistry. That’s why relationships are non-formulaic and often quite messy.
I strongly recommend that you consider the “chemistry” in the matching strategy you use to build the relationships in your program. Of course, you must also take into account the substantive content and demographic characteristics of the participants.
I recently completed a manuscript that described a technique for matching mentees with mentors that addresses all of these criteria. It’s now in review. I’ll let you know when it’s available at later date. Stick around my blogs. Your comments are always welcome.
COPYRIGHT © 2010 Ronald A. Berk, LLC
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